Last week, Sankofa Institute hosted our monthly Community of Practice, bringing together participants from the U.S. and across the African diaspora, including Ghana, Kenya, Nigeria, Uganda, South Africa, and Zambia.
Although we gathered from different parts of the world, what became immediately clear is that there is a universal human need that connects us all: the desire to be seen, to be heard, and to be understood.
When we asked participants a simple question, How does it feel to be truly heard? the responses were deeply moving.
People spoke about feeling respected.
They spoke about feeling regarded.
They spoke about feeling loved.
Several shared that when they are truly heard, their nervous systems and bodies begin to relax. They are able to breathe. To exhale. They feel safe.
There is something profoundly healing about being in the presence of another person who is not trying to fix, interrupt, or direct, but who is simply there, fully present.
The Experience of Not Being Heard
Many of us have also had the opposite experience.
We reach out to someone, hoping to share what is on our hearts, and instead find ourselves being interrupted. The other person begins to advise, redirect, or take over the conversation entirely.
What we needed in that moment was not a solution.
We needed space.
And yet, so often, space is the very thing that is missing.
Holding Space in Recovery and Mental Wellness
In the context of recovery and mental wellness, being heard without judgment can be a vital part of healing.
Individuals in recovery are often navigating complex emotional landscapes—grief, loss, identity, vulnerability, and transformation. In these moments, what is most needed is not instruction, but presence.
To hold space in recovery is to offer that presence.
It is to listen without interrupting.
Without judgment.
Without the need to fix or direct.
It is to trust that the person in front of us has within them the capacity to make sense of their own experience, and to support them by allowing that process to unfold.
This is as important for practitioners as it is for loved ones, family members, and friends. We may all feel the urge to help by offering solutions, but often what is most meaningful is simply being with someone as they move through their experience.
What It Means to Hold Space
Holding space is the practice of being fully present with another person.
It is arriving without judgment.
Without preconceived notions.
Without the need to control the outcome.
It is trusting the process.
And allowing space for the other person to hear themselves.
This is not a technique to be mastered overnight. It is a practice—one that requires awareness, intention, and a willingness to slow down and be present.
It asks us to become more aware of how we show up.
To notice our impulses to interrupt or fix.
To learn how to sit in silence.
To trust the process unfolding in front of us.
An Invitation
Whether we are coaches, mental health professionals, family members, or friends, we are living in a crucial time when our presence, attention, and care are needed more than ever. I invite you to take a moment as you move throughout this week to consider how you want to show up for others.
To pause.
To listen more deeply.
Because in that space, something powerful can happen.
People feel seen.
People feel heard.
They experience unconditional positive regard.
And we begin to create the conditions for healing.
Please take a few moments to watch the brief videos I recorded following our Community of Practice session on holding space. We also invite you to subscribe to our new You Tube channel, which we are excited to continue developing.
With Gratitude,
Thulani
